What's Mediocre today?

I’m quite convinced that with how doubtful I am, that’s a no.

There is always something strangely comforting about the rain.

can you both want and not want something at the same time?
 

Somehow, it is always easier to run back to the past.

Through the eyes of an observer, everyone just seem so happy.
and how I wish I could be just like them. 

Honest thoughts.

I know, I know, the wise others will try to convince me (again) to
” Be patient” , “look on the bright side”. Ecetra. 
I’ve heard enough of these and like how it is, they stopped working for me.

It is as if the hardest thing to do is to stay content for long enough.

People have their stories to tell, they tell you about their ups and downs and how, with a smile of joy and contentment, they finally end up where they are now. You listen, relate and empathise. Somehow, there are so many similarities between your experiences to be drawn but you just don’t see why they get to be happier. Or look/ appear happier for that matter.

What is so starkly different between me and you, he and she, us and them that they always seem to be living your dream and yourself? Entrapped in this mundane and sickly ‘reality’.
Is there something that I’m not doing right?
Why does things always ‘work out’ for the others but I just spend most of my time trying to figure out how it works.

Or maybe is it all a glamorised lie?
You are just like me, a sick and uncontented creature. So selfish. 
  

I cannot wait till my A levels examinations are over already!!!
(not even the Mid terms, per say) 


Can’t wait to read my Harry Potter series all at one go
Stay up late at night to go for movie marathons
and my list goes on. 

You would know that you’ve hit a new stage about Mental Nirvana when all things stop mattering so much anymore.
Also, that includes the screwed up Math paper that you have handed in hope that you do not fail too badly (how unlikely!)
Instead, all that you do is to embrace.

Embrace and accept.

Yes people, embrace and accept.